Did Our Parents Give Us Bad Advice???
Jeannette Johnson

All I need is $10K…..No $25K…….No $40K and all my financial problems would be over! If you are reading this and have put yourself in this equation, do you believe this statement to be true? What would you do with a large sum of money? What?..... Really? I heard your

response and it sounds like you already changed your mind and then altered your answer all within 23 seconds! I thought I heard you say that you would payoff all your debt with the first answer and then you changed it.

I’ve counseled hundreds of people with serious financial problems and most of them tell me the same line on their first visit “If I only had $10K or $25K or $40K, I would be financially healed and my problems solved!” I call this my new client mission statement. So my question to them is, what would you do with the money? The first answer given is “I would payoff all my debt”. I then watch them squiggle around in the chair, still thinking about a large sum of money in their hands and within 1 ½ minutes they say “Ms. Jeannette, I know exactly what I would do with that money.” This is when I get entertained so I lean back in my chair for a nice fun ride. My client has now announced major revisions which includes some much needed purchases like buying their spouse something nice because, you know, they deserve it and purchasing new furniture because what they have is really old. The list continues to go on and on and right before they finish they tell me, “But I will still pay my nagging debt, I may not give them all of it but I will give them a good chunk.”

Is this financial healing?

After extensive counseling, my clients come to realize that they would have been in even worst financial shape had they received a large sum of money at that time. O.k. how is that possible Ms. Jeannette? Let me explain; If an obsessed person had tummy tuck procedure done but never changed their eating habits, the weight would pile back on. Same scenario with financial debt, remember you created the debt and unless your way of thinking has drastically changed, you’re going to be in deeper debt. Initially you say you will payoff all your debt but you never do. You do pay a portion of the debt but the majority of the large sum of money is spent on things that you really, really need. You need clothes, a vacation trip, furniture, and a flat screen television. Speaking of furniture, this is the biggest misconception that has plagued people, “We need furniture.” Most people are in serious debt today because they purchased or rent to own furniture they couldn’t afford. It’s simple, if you don’t have a surplus after paying rent, mortgage, auto,

insurance, groceries, utilities and etc. this mean you cannot afford it. I’ve asked my clients why did they get so far in debt, and the responses from hundreds tell me, “I was instructed by my PARENTS.” Per my clients, their parents advised them that they need to buy furniture to fill their house and also open some credit cards. I’ve had one lady tell me that her DAD told her to buy something for the house every time she got paid, therefore

you will be showing something for your hard work. I’m still shaking my head on that one. As a result of this great advice from her parent, she now have in her possession a 27 page credit report loaded with collections, judgements, and past due debt, all to show that she works hard for her money. She now realizes that she was given poor financial instructions from her parent and sadly, she’s not alone.

I pray that there are parents reading this article who may have unintentionally given some of the same advice to their child. So many parents are unaware of the damage caused by their advice and our children actually listen to us. They also watch how we handle our finances and repeat the cycle. Please know that you are still instructing them even without speaking. I’m a parent and I don’t always get it right in one area or another, but when I see that my parenting skills have caused harm to my children, I work on correcting the problem which is often followed with family discussions. My children are

grown now and I still call family meetings in which you’ve probably heard their sighs from your house because they love them so much. Remember, you don’t just luck up on a good credit standing and being financially sound. It’s a learned behavioral and requires discipline. Alright, back to the mission statement, If I had $10K or $25K or $40K, my financial problems would be over. This statement will only work for the people who are already disciplined in their finances. I pray this is you but if it isn’t, give me a call, I would love to talk to you. May God bless you and your household!