“Self-Love of the Authentic Self”
Elder Kristy Snelson

MA, BSN, LPC

“Self-Love only counts for your AUTHENTIC self. You can’t self-love a false personality.” This is a quote I wrote on Facebook that really registered with a lot of ppl. Why? I truly believe many people have fallen in love with the personality that was built to protect them from reliving the trauma. 

We create an entire mindset and lifestyle surrounding this false identity. We become the overprotective individual who was never protected. We become the rude outspoken person because our voice was silenced, and then follow up with the statement “It’s just me and I’m being real.” We become the codependent passive personality to avoid others from walking out of our lives because we don’t want to be abandoned again.

How do individuals create this personality? We become our own savior. People tend to step into the place of becoming their own healer and safety when their souls can’t take another hit. Human beings are great nurturers of wounds. The nurturing role that assists with the creation of this false personality becomes the parent of our broken inner child. Eventually, the lines become blurred because we don’t know reality from the globe created in our minds from the wound. We get offended if someone attempts to reveal the truth to us. We get offended by the truth because we live and believe the lie. I’ve literally had clients book sessions just to prove to me how horrible they really are. They get angry and state, “Nobody knows or understands me! Even you!” I believe this is the great revelation on why Jesus responded the way he did when the disciples mentioned he had offended the pharisee. The pharisee were so blind to the truth, that the truth appeared as an enemy and a lie.

Side note: Anger is not an emotion, but really a defense mechanism. Anger is the protection of the vulnerable place we are often too afraid to discover and expose. 

Self-love is created for who God created us to be in eternity. It is dangerous to nurture and love falsehood. You can’t create a self-love regimen for something that was not mentioned in eternity. The emotional freedom and abundance that you are waiting on is only predestined for your authentic self. It’s like a magnet. It’s only attracted to the personality God created. If we take on any other personality, it can’t locate you. A false personality causes a malfunction in the spiritual GPS.

I too struggled with a false personality. I thought I was this mean and harsh woman. I was rude to my leaders and fellow ministers. I was mean to my children. Vulnerability was weakness. Expressing emotions meant you were inferior in my eyes. Thank God for the blood of Jesus! The DNA was exchanged at the cross and now I am a new creation in Christ! Hallelujah! After the exchange I started apologizing to my children. I became more open with the people I loved. I had to do a major repentance tour! I couldn’t love people or receive love because I didn’t love myself. 

So how do you discover your authentic self? This is the question I ask clients all the time: If God took away the residue of the trauma along with every fear while you are sleeping, who would that person be when you woke up? I want you to stop and answer that before you continue reading this article. 

The answer or person that you thought of is the person that was with God in eternity before you entered your mother’s womb. You master self-love by allowing that person to make the decisions in your life. You start choosing that person long enough, you’ll become them. You’ll begin to accept every flaw and every quirk.

What is the false narrative that you’ve been telling yourself? I want to challenge you to step into your eternal self and love that person because that person already knows where you are going. Blessings!

Elder Kristy Snelson MA, BSN, LPC

beforeaftercounseling@gmail.com

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